dreamz...

I just woke up... sadly. I wish I could of dreamed for longer, I wish I didn't know that I am waking up and I wish that my dream would come true... I was so happy in my dream , I was so in love and it was my wedding day. I was beautiful all in white wonderful dress and long veil. I was so happy with him , I never have seen him in my life but in my dream he was so sweet , he was so full of love, and he loved me so much and I loved him so much. It was like a dream come true.... Yeah I always say wedding is not for me and so on and on. But in this dream it was so much for me , it was my day and he was my man, and I was so insanely happy. Then I woke up. All alone in my room, outside is beautiful winter, with cold blue sky and it is freezing, but now it feels like winter is inside me. So lonely I have never felt, so alone and cheated. It is like I had something and now it is taken away, and I can't help it. I feel like my brain would have played evil trick with me. I always had nightmares and now I had wonderful dream and i was finally happy, but of course it had to be taken away as well. It feels like my brain gave me some love , gave me that one person I loved in my dream and the feelings of love were so real that after waking up it felt like somebody have taken him from me, it felt like little death a loss of beloved one. I sometimes feel like my mind is enemy of my. Gives me nightmares and then understands that they don't get to me and now gives me dreams, with happy things going on and me being happy. That does get to me!! So gets to me!!

Today's song - Blue October - My never.

romansse