bye

Just now i had some time with my self , giving in my body's yearning and desires , giving in my own sexuality and need for some pleasure, need for release , need for sense of peace and need for sense of freedom.
First time in really long time i was by my self, no somebodies name in my head , no longing for him, no loathing of him , no sense of sadness and hate mixed up together there were just me. Me enjoying my self , me and that wonderful explosion, feeling my body giving in , feeling my body give away that stress , hearing my own moan and whimper, my own breathing and heartbeat, my own tear running down my cheek, my own sense of victory. There were only me and nobody else. It was MY pleasure. only mine. I am nobodies tool. I am for my self.
I think I am finally letting everything go. I am finally letting him go. I am letting go all of the hate and sense of loss, and guilt. I am just letting go ...
It feel like victory. I think I am starting to win in this game. I am living for my self .
Goodbye my lover, my hate , my love, my fear, my friend... It is time for you to go and never ever come back. I am not letting nobody else to play with my mind and heart.


romansse